What can i do?

I am writing this cos i wanted to make myself feels better. Into my second week of my course, i had really little time couple with my pact programme and Pris having lesson on 1,3,5 make liitle time for us together.

In fact, was only looking forward to meet her during the weekend where we could spent time together. I tends to place much focus on the course, as it is the pinnacle of my career, i also understand that pris is getting very upset with her current job that she wanted a break free soon. Due to that i would always encourage her to go for interview, so the turning point of this came. She got a call from emirates airlines and i realized that she mentioned she regret quitting SQ so i immediately urge her to go for interview.

But she started to get worried for the interview, wondering if she got it she will take up as the training and the admin would take up 6-8 months. She began to feels frustrated for the the fact that she can't get married cos i am not ready and she an bear a child and that she will be too old to bear a kid.

I also told her before, my past like agnes marriage , my dad illness i have spent my savings and i left with what i can do for my new place. I thought i have let her know, she started to question why i can't married and why i don't have savings. I began to felt so sad, i was hoping that she could comprehend and that she knew my situation. So see, $$ very important it confirm my thesis that there is never LOVE in this world. I was really giving some thoughts into marriage after having dinner with adrian and cass with pris. I really hope i could save up more $$ this year so that i could marry her.

Unfortunately the burst came when we went out with her ' Nephew', she began to think and i was hoping after that we could spent time after sending the kid home, but she replied for what??? OK i think i am only one sided that i miss her so i took with stride and decided to send her back. On our way back we started this conversation, i began to wonder why it is always baout how she feels and how she wanted things to be done. She never checked about how i feels, how i getting on the course and just presume that everything is there.

I always think marriage is a 2 person issue and not 1 person trying... I not sure what can i do? i am really very devastated cos in my work i need to struggle to stay afloat and in my love? i constantly need to maintain it too. I think sometime sad to mention i am a failure?